I tend to be a pretty "fair player" when it comes to people in life. Granted, I am far from perfect and still have a lot of growing up to do, but I tend to give people a fair chance the first time I meet them. Have I questioned this tactic? YUP. Why? Because I've been fooled by a first impression more than a few times. Despite those times, I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and a fair chance right off the bat.
While I have been really good at giving that first chance, I have also been REALLY good at giving too many chances. I will let someone run me into the ground and wear me down to dust before I tell them to get the fuck out of my life. And even then, I probably won't word it like that at the fear of hurting their feelings. I would usually find nicer, more gentle wording to say it. Granted, I've had to do this a few times in my life and it never gets easier.
Side note for you youngsters: Your 20's are filled with cutting people out, so get ready for it. I also imagine that it doesn't stop in your 20's... or 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's... etc.
Now, while in an encounter with someone who I cut from my life due to negative energy a while back, they asked why I "HATE" them. *Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech* of the breaks, back up now. First off, I HATE no one. My mom always taught me that it is wrong to hate people. That and HATE takes so much energy, that of which I refuse to waste on someone who I don't particularly care for. Second, I don't WANT to hate anyone... I hate things like overly spicy food, root beer (I know...) and bugs. I don't feel like hating someone does anything for me and I refuse to do it.
But, since I mentioned it... what the hell is with overly spicy food? I know, before a troll goes "uhhh we all have different spice tolerance..durrrr" - YES I know. Thank you for that nugget of knowledge, but considering that mine is very low, that makes this hot hell food more confusing to me. How can you even taste anything other than fire? How do you not want to throw up your esophagus while its engulfed in lava?! Anyways, these are the things that go through my head...
I also have a tendency to bounce thoughts around like a pinball machine, might be the radio in me. :)
Now - back to the topic at hand. I won't lie, there are a few people in my life that I have had to take a step back from. Whether it is because I don't agree with the moves they're making in life, because they've done something to me and/or someone I love that I can't be alright with or whatever it may be. I've had to make cuts. People might think I'm cold hearted, which isn't the case. Truth is, even with the people who I have had to respectfully tell that I can't continue our friendship, I still wonder how they are. I still hope they're ok and I still hope that they have the best life that can be offered to them. I never cut someone with any ill will wish.
It's just a separation or a creation of some space while hoping for some change. That's all.
Then there is an issue of being an introverted extrovert. People who know me, and when I say know me I mean people who have been in my life for years, know that I am loud, crazy, adventurous, loud mouthed and I attempt to be as fun as possible. Now if you're around me just sometimes and think that I don't like you because I was quiet, you're wrong. Certain circumstances allow me to be my crazy extroverted self, and some circumstances turn me into a turtle that is hiding in it's shell.
Anyways as random as this is, it was on my mind. Now that it's off my mind, I'm going to the local watering hole...
...it's 5 O'Clock somewhere right?
Again, HAPPY FRIDAY!
kg
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